he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
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