I wanna passion pit in your ass
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
I love you. Go after that dick
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
