we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
Randomize