I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
