His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
