real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
Randomize
