I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
