she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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