Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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