A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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