my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
Randomize
