so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
did i just pee glitter
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Randomize
