Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
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