It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize
