I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize
