Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
True strength comes from lack of pants
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Randomize
