i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
Randomize
