After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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