Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
Randomize
