you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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