summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
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