I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
I intend to get homeless drunk
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
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