lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
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