saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Randomize