I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
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