Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
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