if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
