oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Randomize
