I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
Randomize
