Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
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