God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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