i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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