I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
Randomize
