he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
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