and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
