I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
Less talking, more tequila
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Randomize