just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Randomize
