I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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