lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
I think we might need a safe word for this...
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
Randomize
