This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
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