i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
I AM VODKA MAN
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
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