After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Randomize