this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
