and my herpes radar will keep us safe
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
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