I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Randomize