Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Randomize
