did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
Randomize
