i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Randomize
