My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Randomize
