Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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