I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
Randomize
