I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Randomize
