the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Randomize
