First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
