That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
