Tell her she can't have a vagina
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize