Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
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