One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
Randomize
