question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
