What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Randomize
