im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Randomize
