Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
No subtext here. People are naked.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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