so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Randomize
