We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
