Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
