I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
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