Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
