He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
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